


Spunky Cooks

by ButterscotchCandybatch



Series: 221B Drabbles [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: AO3 1 Million, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 23:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1203907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterscotchCandybatch/pseuds/ButterscotchCandybatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock is cooking a special breakfast for John and wants him to guess what "secret ingredient" he used. A 221B fic in tagless dialogue because I like expressing John's shock and horror in dialogue!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spunky Cooks

“John! I’ve made breakfast!”

…

“Jo-ohn! The book says it’s best fresh!”

“Mph – what is?”

 “Just try it and tell me what you think.”

“Mmm, nice smoothie. Bananas and honey… Ugh, it has a bitter aftertaste.”

“Really?”

“Didn’t you taste it yourself?”

“No, there wasn’t enough.”

“Couldn’t you just make more?”

“Not easily, no. It has a ‘special ingredient’ which is hard to get in large quantities.”

“What?”

“Guess.”

“Not this again. _I’m_ not the consulting detective, remember?”

“You don’t need to deduce – just concentrate on the taste. Think! It’s the new sexy.”

“Don’t quote Irene Adler at me this early in the morning. I’m not ready to think about sex… Hang on… that bitter aftertaste… Oh, God, it isn’t your…?”

“Yes. Here’s the book – Natural Harvest: Cooking with semen.”

“Wait, so did you go into the bedroom and… toss off… and put it into a smoothie and _made me drink it_ _?!”_

“No, John, of course not.”

“Oh, thank Christ, for a moment I thought…”

“The recipe says it is best fresh, so I did it right here in the kitchen.”

“Right, that’s it! I want to be crystal clear about this! I never want to see in my food, ever again, dead or alive, fresh or otherwise, anything which has ever been part of - or come out of - a human body!”

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, this book actually exists! It's on Amazon - they really do have everything!


End file.
